So my friend’s boyfriend messaged me trying to start shit, but realized I was the wrong guy. Then he said he liked me and that he’s got my back and if anyone fucks with me, he’ll fuck them up. A Mongol apparently has my back… Dunno whether to be terrified or not.
The Maxies, the best band in the world from Greenland, have relocated to Southern California to further expand their trail of wreckage across the United States.
Touring with bands such as Reel Big Fish, Big D and the Kids Table, Streetlight Manifesto, and The Paul Collins’ Beat, The Maxies have drunkenly clubbed more seals than they have played songs. And yet they’re still better than every one of these shitty bands.
Growing weary of being better than every band in America, they recently hitched a ride on a whaling boat headed for Japan. After harpooning the last of six endangered species, they played several shows where they were STILL the best goddamned band anyone had ever seen.
Triumphant on two continents, they have returned to the United States to deplete the ozone layer, spread STDs, and skin polar bears. But never manatees.
Because manatees are for fucking.
Catch them quick before they’re deported!"
The Maxies: Bio, from their EPK.
Would you let feelings fester to maintain a friendship?
Nice guys finish last.
Did I die and go to heaven? Today was amazing. Things worked out, and our set time allowed us to not cancel, and we played a rocking set. I missed out on the Maxies because we played the Constellation Room the same time as them, but we were able to somehow retain a full-capacity crowd when Skadonna played. On top of that, hospitality was incredible- the band got free booze, burgers, and hot dogs, and I got to see so many of my friends in the OC ska scene and in the out-of-town bands that I haven’t seen in a while! I also got to spend time and explain a bit of what I needed to say to this girl I really like during late night Denny’s, and sure enough, Frank and Eddie from Voodoo Glow Skulls came in to eat. They said they would check us out at the Viva Ska Vegas pre-party…
So, my band is opening for Voodoo Glow Skulls, Mad Caddies, Buck-O-Nine, and the Maxies tonight.
So, teaching three weeks of band camp paid off for my little sister… she no longer owes band fees and her marching shoes are being paid for. And I have a new ally and friend in a band director. Sweet.
*Writes song to rhyme “pretty” with “shitty”*